I believe we are all enriched when we share genuinely and authentically. And I wasn’t really doing that before. I needed a break from the blog because I didn’t feel I had much to share. I had created the blog from a place of “have to” because I was told to do so. But it felt hollow and pointless – I wasn’t clear on what I had to offer or why I was writing and so the motivation wasn’t there. Not surprisingly the effort was painful and the result was bland, lackluster, generic, forced and not a source of joy.
And what’s the point of engaging in something that does not impart any joy?
So I just let the blog die. I resigned myself to feeling like a failure for having abandoned this blog.
Well, it turns out the blog did not die. It had just been in a coma. The desire to share and connect has been nagging at me and I started thinking about what it is that I stand for, what it is that I hope to accomplish with this blog, how I can be of service and act with purpose. It helps that I’ve been making my way through Julia Cameron’s instructive and insightful book, The Right to Write: An Invitation and Initiation into the Writing Life. I am ready to re-commit to writing and posting because I think I may have something to offer to at least one other person out there, that maybe I have something to contribute to the bigger conversation. I don’t have it all figured out yet but I have started connecting with that longing to share and to be of service through writing and they are motivating me to give this another try.
No matter the endeavor, getting started is always the toughest part. So, without expectations and with minimal self-censoring, here I am taking that first step.